The 'F' word
Fate.
I was at my aunt's place recently with my dad.
They were talking about their difficult childhood back in the early 40s. And I heard about events in the past that could have prevented my existence. Some, tragic as they were, set the wheels in motion for the exact opposite.
I've never met my paternal grandfather.
Even if he didn't die of pneumonia when my dad was two, I probably wouldn't have met him either. Simply because I would never have been born.
My grandparents left China in the mid-30s to escape the political upheaval that was raging the country. They came to Malaya dreaming of a better life for their soon-to-be family. First, my aunt came along, then my dad.
My grandfather had planned to bring the family back to China one day, when the children were older. Unfortunately (or fortunately for me), that was not to be.
He passed on very suddenly when my grandmother was pregnant with the twins. So she was left to fend for herself and two young children, with two on the way. As if it couldn't get any worse, the Japanese invaded Malaya, not long after the twins were born.
With so many mouths to feed, she could barely make ends meet doing laundry or cleaning for rich families in Ipoh. It was then her cousin in China offered to take in two of her children.
She had to choose between the two elder kids (my dad and my aunt) and the twins. When she finally made the heartbreaking decision, the twins were sent on a boat to China. And she didn't see them again until 50 years later, when China reopened her doors to the world.
The twins are still bitter about what happened and I don't blame them. But it wasn't an easy choice for my grandmother to make. More so because she didn't have any.
If things worked out a little differently, if my dad and aunt were sent away instead, I wouldn't be here today. That, is quite a humbling thought.
'Ah Ma' passed away in 1996 of breast cancer.
And she will always be the most amazing, resilient woman I know.
I was at my aunt's place recently with my dad.
They were talking about their difficult childhood back in the early 40s. And I heard about events in the past that could have prevented my existence. Some, tragic as they were, set the wheels in motion for the exact opposite.
I've never met my paternal grandfather.
Even if he didn't die of pneumonia when my dad was two, I probably wouldn't have met him either. Simply because I would never have been born.
My grandparents left China in the mid-30s to escape the political upheaval that was raging the country. They came to Malaya dreaming of a better life for their soon-to-be family. First, my aunt came along, then my dad.
My grandfather had planned to bring the family back to China one day, when the children were older. Unfortunately (or fortunately for me), that was not to be.
He passed on very suddenly when my grandmother was pregnant with the twins. So she was left to fend for herself and two young children, with two on the way. As if it couldn't get any worse, the Japanese invaded Malaya, not long after the twins were born.
With so many mouths to feed, she could barely make ends meet doing laundry or cleaning for rich families in Ipoh. It was then her cousin in China offered to take in two of her children.
She had to choose between the two elder kids (my dad and my aunt) and the twins. When she finally made the heartbreaking decision, the twins were sent on a boat to China. And she didn't see them again until 50 years later, when China reopened her doors to the world.
The twins are still bitter about what happened and I don't blame them. But it wasn't an easy choice for my grandmother to make. More so because she didn't have any.
If things worked out a little differently, if my dad and aunt were sent away instead, I wouldn't be here today. That, is quite a humbling thought.
'Ah Ma' passed away in 1996 of breast cancer.
And she will always be the most amazing, resilient woman I know.
Labels: just me
says Wandernut on Thursday, January 12, 2006
5 wandered by:
I couldn't imagine having to make such a choice.
You're standing exactly where you're supposed to be. Just think we would have never met if all those events hadn't happened. *shudders at the thought*
That's some story !!
Destiny is timing and willingness I believe, though the weighting/balance shifts constantly.
You're here now. That's all that counts.
Wow, great story! I enjoyed that.
Mint: Yeah. Imagine having to choose between your kids. Apparently during the WW1 and WW2 days, it's a very common thing.
Rat: And quite a sad one too :)
Box: Yep, I'm here. I'm grateful and wondering what-the-hell-for at the same time.
Horsey: Hi Horsey. Thanks for stopping by.
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