After dark.
It's 9.30pm Thursday and it's my first late night at work in a long, long time.
I like it that the office is quiet.
And I'm not as restless or easily distracted as I am during the day.
But there are other places I'd rather be.
It got me thinking about how things were 5 and a half years ago. I just began my advertising career and I was hungry. In fact, I'd go home, feel restless and then drive back to work (freak).
In my previous agency, I had no qualms about working late. Sometimes even until the sun came up before a big pitch. At one point, this happened every other week for almost a year.
We were a small set-up after splitting from our mother company then. My colleagues and I were a tight-knitted bunch, and we'd go the extra mile for each other. It was tough but we had fun. And over the years, we became family.
Then we grew.
And things inevitably changed.
Most of us are in different agencies now.
Every time we meet up, we'd talk about those difficult times.
Not with regret but with melancholy.
These days, I'm not so hungry anymore.
I go through the motions of my job wondering if this is it.
If not, what else is there?
Then I settle back into my comfort zone, struggling to break away.
Not knowing how.
And not having the courage to.
I like it that the office is quiet.
And I'm not as restless or easily distracted as I am during the day.
But there are other places I'd rather be.
It got me thinking about how things were 5 and a half years ago. I just began my advertising career and I was hungry. In fact, I'd go home, feel restless and then drive back to work (freak).
In my previous agency, I had no qualms about working late. Sometimes even until the sun came up before a big pitch. At one point, this happened every other week for almost a year.
We were a small set-up after splitting from our mother company then. My colleagues and I were a tight-knitted bunch, and we'd go the extra mile for each other. It was tough but we had fun. And over the years, we became family.
Then we grew.
And things inevitably changed.
Most of us are in different agencies now.
Every time we meet up, we'd talk about those difficult times.
Not with regret but with melancholy.
These days, I'm not so hungry anymore.
I go through the motions of my job wondering if this is it.
If not, what else is there?
Then I settle back into my comfort zone, struggling to break away.
Not knowing how.
And not having the courage to.
Labels: just me
says Wandernut on Thursday, August 18, 2005
3 wandered by:
"And things inevitably changed"
They always do, don't they? I was at my last job for almost 10 years. The best piece of advice my mentor gave me (before the walls came crashing down) was "You have to decide if you change the situation or the situation changes you". (Of course this was after he gave me more work and said 'no' to a pay raise).
I felt awful when I read this (not your fault). I don't know what's worse - that it's familiar, or that it's familiar cos it's still happening.
Mint: Yep, and sometimes, you can't change a situation no matter how hard you try.
Box: And you know what's even worse? Acceptance. I'm trying not to let that happen.
Must get out of this rut. Must get out of this rut.
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