Club me over the head. Drag me by the hair.

Many of my friends have started ticking the MARRIED box in application forms. In the next few weeks, more brave ones are set to follow.

Last weekend, the girls went to PD to celebrate Aiv's impending move to Mrs-dom. Apart from having a girly good time (food, booze, reminiscing, self-pampering), we talked about what married life would be like. I never had fairy-tale notions of what marriage is, but our conversations affirmed my belief that it's not a bed of roses (I'd personally like an elegant combination of white roses and white-green orchids or a loud circus of multi-coloured gerberas with stalks of sunflowers thrown in.)

The following conversations are excerpts from stories told by married or soon-to-be married friends. Any similarities (or exaggerations) in situations and characters are fully intended.

Domestic bliss... oh, really?

Wife: Have you cleaned out the pot yet?
Husband: (watching TV) Not yet.

Half hour later.
Wife: It's still in the sink.
Husband: (watching TV) Ya. Ya. Later.

Wife washes pot.
Husband: Hey, I said I'll wash it!

----

Husband: I'm out of underwear.
Wife: Didn't you throw them into the laundry basket?
Husband: Yeah. Where are the clean ones?


It seems most boys need house training. Especially if they've had their mommies / grannies / maids / ah-chi to pick up after them all their lives. So you can't help but to remind them to do certain things (in other words, NAG). Before long, you realise you're becoming more like your mother. No wait, you ARE your mother. Jeepers!

In-Law By Laws

If you live with your in-laws, some responsibilities may automatically be yours. Like making sure he has clean underwear.

Or giving them grandchildren.
"You're not getting any younger you know. You're not still using contraception, are you?"

Some mom-in-laws may even tell their sons that certain duties are to be performed by the wife. Like ironing / cooking / washing / cleaning / making sure there is clean underwear / all of the above.

My girlfriends and I are not averse to the idea of housework. But for roles to be clearly defined, hmmm.... (note: This generally happens with mom-in-laws who are Martha Stewarts in their own right, minus the lawsuit.)

Bundles of joy

From what I've observed with my married friends, they totally take over your lives. Not just for 9 months but for a good 21 years (if you're lucky).

Yes, they may be the cutest things on the planet (simply because they're yours) and a source of immense joy. But you'll wonder if you can bring them up to be useful, God-loving citizens. And look at the state of the world right now... what if they become _________? (fill in the blank with every possible mother's nightmare).

Even if they are the sweetest angels on earth, imagine this.

Gal pal: Hey, we're planning to trek Nepal. Wanna join us?
Baby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Mom: I'm still breast feeding. Maybe when he's older.

3 years later.
Gal pal: Hey, we're planning to trek Nepal. Wanna join us?
Baby 1: Mommy! Barney! Barney!
Baby 2: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mom: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

-------

You're on a romantic holiday and the kids are with your parents.

Wife: This is so romantic.
Husband: I wonder how the kids are doing.
Wife: I'm sure they're fine with mom.
Husband: Ok. Let's go for a romantic dinner.
Wife: I wonder if the kids are eating.

Couple takes first flight home.

-------

Love is amazing.
It makes you do the unspeakable.

Congratulations to the soon-to-be married:
Aiv & Kenny and WaiYee & her Darren.